Fairness Doctrine? Bring It On!

By John W. Lillpop

At first glance, the Fairness Doctrine being floated by leftist fascists like Diane Feinstein, John Kerry, Nancy Pelosi, and other enemies of free speech sounds prohibitive and scary.

But a real Fairness Doctrine might actually help conservatives if it included all media, television, newspapers, and radio, and if:

* When hiring reporters, editors, commentators, anchors, and other news staff, mainstream media venues were required to hire the exact same number of conservatives as liberals;

* For every Maureen Dowd column it publishes, the New York Times were required to run a current Ann Coulter column, of equal length, on the same page;

* PBS were required to follow the "Jim Lehrer News Hour" with a segment of "The Savage Nation," hosted by Michael Savage.

* To counter 60 Minutes featuring Mike Wallace, CBS were required run a show of equal time hosted by Michael Reagan;

* In order to avoid being excessively "one way," ABC were ordered to fire two leftist feminists from "The View" and replace them with Bay Buchanan and Phyllis Schlafly;

* Spanish-language broadcasts featuring pro-amnesty and open borders propaganda, were required to include an equal number of commentaries by those opposed to illegal immigration and in favor of immediate deportation of all illegals;

* Movie theaters running Michael Moore's Sicko were required to also run Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ, at the same time;

* Air America were forced to run conservative talent to offset the likes of Randi Rhodes and other leftist nut cases posing as radio hosts;

* The Weather Channel were ordered to replace half of its global warming biased staff with skeptics who believe that global warming is only myth, unsubstantiated by real science, and

* Radio and television coverage of political conventions were completely balanced to assure equal coverage for liberal and conservative perspectives.

If administered fairly, the fairness doctrine could help to dislodge the liberal bias pervasive in newspapers, television, films, and radio.

In which case, Bring it on!

Mr. President, Your Helicopter is Ready!

By John W. Lillpop

Once the exclusive domain of leftist tweets like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, anti-war sentiment is spreading like wildfire into the camps of mainstream, respectable Republicans.

The latest senators to weigh in against the Bush surge are Sen. George Voinovich, R-Ohio and Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, both of whom are now on record as stating publicly that America needs to begin disengaging from the war in Iraq.

In addition, Republican members of the U.S. House have warned Bush that his idiotic and wrongheaded advocacy of amnesty for 12-30 million criminals may cause him to lose support for the war in the People's House.

With his presidency in shambles and his legacy as "The worst president in American history" all but set in concrete, is it not time for the president to face reality and spare the nation and the world 18 more months of grief?

From the disastrous war in Iraq, to the total and complete abandonment of border security and immigration law enforcement at home, to out of control spending resulting in trillions of dollars in debt being dumped on the backs of future generations, and to inept and foolish mismanagement of foreign relations that has united the world against America, George W. Bush has done enough damage to America.

In 1974, America was confronted with a rascal in the White House by the name of Richard M. Nixon. For all his faults, Nixon was generally regard as an intelligent and capable man, unlike W-43.

Unfortunately, Nixon was also a despicable crook.

But in 1974, the Republican party was blessed to have a few leaders with cajones and a passion for America. Those noble Republicans walked into the White House at an appropriate time and let Nixon know that his time had elapsed and that, in the interests of the nation and himself, it was time to go.

To his credit, Richard M. Nixon did the honorable thing by resigning the presidency. On August 9, 1974, President Nixon boarded an Air Force helicopter on the lawn of the White House and made his way home to California.

America was grateful for the fact that our "national nightmare was over" and the healing process began immediately.

Today's challenge: Are there are any Republican senators and or house members with cajones?

America needs three of four patriots to deliver a Nixon-like message to George W. Bush namely, "Mr. President, Your Helicopter is Ready!"

By leaving now, Mr. Bush can accomplish the most noble and patriotic act of his presidency.

And America can begin healing.

Open Letter to Senate Majority Leader Reid

June 26, 2007

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid
United States Senate
Washington, D.C.


Dear Majority Leader Reid:

In 1993, America was overwhelmed by millions of aliens who defied our borders and immigration laws and came here unlawfully.

As a responsible steward of the United States Constitution and a dedicated patriot at the time, on August 5, 1993 you released the following statement to the floor of the U.S. Senate to the address the illegal alien crisis:

“In response to increased terrorism and abuse of social programs by aliens, (I) today introduced the first and only comprehensive immigration reform bill in Congress. Currently, an alien living illegally in the United States often pays no taxes but receives unemployment, welfare, free medical care, and other federal benefits. Recent terrorist acts, including the World Trade Center bombing, have underscored the need to keep violent criminals out of the country.”

Your bill, titled the “Immigration Stabilization Act,” would have overhauled the nation's immigration laws, and called for a massive scale-down of immigrants allowed into the country.

You went on to say, in part:


"Our borders have overflowed with illegal immigrants placing tremendous burdens on our criminal justice system, schools and social programs. The Immigration and Naturalization Service needs the ability to step up enforcement. Our federal wallet is stretched to the limit by illegal aliens getting welfare, food stamps, medical care, and other benefits often without paying any taxes.”

“Safeguards like welfare and free medical care are in place to boost Americans in need of short-term assistance. These programs were not meant to entice freeloaders and scam artists from around the world. Even worse, Americans have seen heinous crimes committed by individuals who are here illegally.”


Specific provisions proposed by you in the Immigration Stabilization Act included:

* Reduced annual legal immigration levels. Relatives other than spouse or minor children admitted only if already on immigration waiting lists and their admission does not raise annual immigration levels above approved level.

* Reformed asylum rules to prevent aliens from entering the United States illegally under phony "asylum" claims.

* Expanded list of felonies considered "aggravated" felonies requiring exclusion and deportation of criminal aliens. Allows courts to order deportation at time of sentencing.

* Increased penalties for failing to depart or re-entering the United States after a final order of deportation order. Increases maximum penalties for visa fraud from five years to 10 years.

* Curtailed alien smuggling by authorizing interdiction and repatriation of aliens seeking to enter the United States unlawfully by sea. Increases penalties for alien smuggling.

* Added "alien smuggling" to the list of crimes subject to sanctions under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) Act.

* Expanded the categories of property that are forfeited when used to facilitate the smuggling or harboring of illegal aliens.

* Clarified that a person born in the United States to an alien mother who is not a lawful resident is not a U.S. citizen. This will eliminate incentive for pregnant alien women to enter the United States illegally, often at risk to mother and child, for the purpose of acquiring citizenship for the child and accompanying federal financial benefits.

* Mandated that aliens who cannot demonstrably support themselves without public or private assistance are excludable. This will prevent admission of aliens likely to be dependent on public financial support. This requirement extends to the sponsor of any family sponsored immigrant.

* Increased border security and patrol officer positions.

Unfortunately, Majority Leader Reid, America did not heed your warning in 1993.

As a result, the problems you described so eloquently in 1993 have grown completely out of control. America is now inundated with 12-30 million "freeloaders and scam artists."

Most distressing is the fact that, although our nation has been at war since the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, millions of illegal aliens continue to invade America, seemingly at will, every year.

Unlike your excellent proposal in 1993, the so-called "comprehensive" immigration reform bill now before the senate is an amnesty bill.

Although one can quibble over the technical and legal definition of amnesty, the following description of S 1639 is irrefutable:

S 1639 would result in blanket and unconditional legalization of at least 12 million people who have ignored and violated U.S. borders and immigration laws.

That may not fit the exact definition of amnesty, but it is surely unwise, foolish, and perhaps even un-American.

America is supposed to operate under the rule of law, but S 1639 would ignore that principle of governance in order to legalize people who simply have no respect or regard for law, and who have no legal basis for being here.

In addition, of the 12 million or more illegal aliens currently here, how many are terrorists who harbor the goal of killing millions of innocent Americans?

How prudent is it to assume that there are no terrorists among those millions of illegal aliens? Has America reached the point where access to cheap labor is more important than homeland security?

S 1639 would legalize 12-30 million illegal aliens whom the federal government knows absolutely nothing about.

America simply cannot afford such a reckless and irresponsible policy in the name of "comprehensive" reform.

Majority Leader Reid, you were exactly right in 1993.

Please follow your original instincts and vote NO on this ill advised and very dangerous legislation.

Thank you.


Sincerely,


JOHN W LILLPOP
San Jose, California

Welcome Back to Work, Dr. Death!

Satire by John W. Lillpop




Congratulations to you, Doctor Kevorkian, for your release after eight years in prison. We know that your newly awarded freedom is a blessing to you and your family, and it may be just what America needs at this point in our history as well.

If simple math serves correctly, you began your stint away from home in 1999.

Back then, Bill Clinton was president, gasoline was under $2.50 a gallon, Saddam Hussein was a brutal bully, Islam was considered a "Religion of Peace," and people actually paid good money for VHS video tapes.

In 1999, not more than one in a 100 Americans could properly pronounce, much less recognize, the names Osama bin Laden and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Most Americans thought Middle East was that delightful part of Americana half way between Chicago and New York City.

Mention Speaker Pelosi in 1999, and people would immediately think of a breakfast keynoter at a Toastmasters, not the top hen in the U.S. House. And certainly not a bug-eyed female anarchist from San Francisco!

Talk about Bill Clinton's operation and most would have guessed that Hillary had finally had it with her promiscuous mate, and had chopped off a vital part of the president's male anatomy, restorable only through delicate surgery.

Back then, no one would have believed that a man who cannot pronounce "nuclear," and who makes Yogi Berra sound like a highly gifted public speaker, would be elected president of the United States.

Twice, no less!

But since 1999, everything has changed in America and throughout the world.

As a result of these changes, there is a lengthy list of American public figures that urgently need your services, although they themselves may be unaware of the need.

That is where your powers of persuasion will come in handy, Dr. Jack.

It will be up to you to convince each of the people on the list of their impending doom, and of the expediency and dignity of ending it all on one's own terms.

Your main pitch should be: Why wait for action by a God that you do not believe in anyway?

So off we go. Please help to make the following among the dearly departed as soon as possible, but absolutely, positively before November 9, 2008:

* All Democrats in the U.S. House and Senate;

* All congressional Republicans who support amnesty for illegal aliens;

* Howard Dean and all staff at the Democratic National Committee;

* All ACLU, Planned Parenthood, CAIR, and La Raza employees;

* All former U.S. Presidents still alive and haunting America;

* Rosie O'Donnell, Cindy Sheehan, Ted Turner, Jane Fonda, and Paris Hilton;

* All residents of San Francisco old enough, but not smart enough, to vote;

* Barry Bonds' steroid supplier, and

* Dubya, AKA George W. Bush, former King of Texas, and current squatter-in-chief at 1600 Pennsylvania.

We urge you to move with dispatch and efficiency, Dr. Jack.

Please be advised that, in terms of priorities, helping the Democrats and Dubya first makes the most sense for the future of America.

Should you fail to act quickly, we will have 12-30 million third-world legalized peasants for you to deal with.

Trusting you to bring death with dignity and respect, we thank you for your good works and say "Welcome Home!"